Buddha Wannabe

I am strong enough to fight, and too weak to fight a lot.

I am loving enough for many; that's not enough for any.

I know why the world works, and am ignorant about tragedies.

I am wise enough to do what's right; my justice becomes judgement.

I seek to remove suffering, and Buddha laughs with love.

Buddha asks, "Who in the 7 heavens and hells are you?"

Neither do I have a response, nor do I have an excuse;

I save 1 person per species, without being saved myself.

So I fight more, love more, learn more and apologize more;

Buddha finds me cute, and laughs when I am not looking.

Buddha is enlightened beyond all dualities; so, he knows

The secret to surpass all heavens and hells, is also

Knowing that any heaven or hell also has the other.

That karma has no point, for nirvana to have a cause

Where people suffer at this point, stuck in their samsara

Buddha says, why not at least smile, and try anyway.

There's only pain and suffering for the Buddhist wannabe,

Judgment, hate and looks of pity from the damned themselves.

Then I think being a Bodhisattva is not what it's made out to be,

And of course, I wonder what kind of Buddha thinks like that.

Time goes on; people seek both suffering and it's remedy,

Laughing when you love, listen, or speak of the middle way.

Some taunt you, some don't understand you; all want Nirvana

Then they love suffering, faster than you can say "nirvana".

The problem is, I thought Boddhisatva meant strength,

compassion, wisdom and spirit; or perhaps, the 10 perfections.

I thought it meant the end of Samsara, at least for me,

And hopefully for everyone else, too. Who likes suffering?

But all Buddha means, is that after everything I did,

And in sight of everything that still needs to be done,

I am a blank page, for others to write their happy ending,

Which is what emptiness truly is, and always was.

Whether they choose to, or not, maybe I didn't teach well.

If they don't want to choose, maybe I am too weak.

If they don't want my love, then maybe my love was not enough.

If they don't want Nirvana, I will still hope like a fool.

Because being a Buddha was never just about me.

It's about being the Buddha people deserve to see.

As long as I am alive, I will vow with all my stupidity

To be the best buddha wannabe, that I can ever be.