Guide to Corporate matters

Polite Speak - ‘What you said about A made sense, what do you think about B?’

English - ‘That didn’t make sense at all. Can we talk about my idea’?

Polite Speak - ‘I see what you are saying’.

English - ‘I am processing your argument, hold on, my IQ is churning.’

Polite Speak - 'That's pretty smart'

English - 'You are stupid most of the time - this took me by complete surprise. I suck as a human being, because for once, you displayed IQ higher than me. This necessarily equates to my life as a hermit, meditating on the values of success and wisdom. Once I have redeemed myself, I humbly request you to teach me the way of IQ'.

Polite Speak - ‘That’s not a bad idea, actually’

English - ‘That’s absolutely brilliant, and I am very happy that my colleague is smart. Now I feel insecure’.

Polite Speak - ‘I don’t think it works like that...’

English - ‘Did we hire another idiot?’

Polite Speak - ‘So…’

English - ‘I understand that makes sense to you, but it’s wrong. Not sure where to begin. Give me some time to explain, I will do my best to be polite, given that you are doing your best! 😄’

Polite Speak - ‘Great job everyone!’

English - ‘Great job everyone! Now get back to work.’

Polite Speak - ‘Our company did really well this quarter!’

English - ‘Our company did really well this quarter. Reviews and pay raises are a separate topic.’

Polite Speak - 'Do you want feedback?'

English - 'I want to give you feedback. Can you say yes, please?'

Polite Speak - 'Can you do it this way, please?'

English - Do it.

Polite Speak - 'Is there a better way to do this?'

English - 'There is a better way to do this, you didn't see it, and I did. Can you please give me a chance to explain?'

Polite Speak - 'Why are you doing it this way?'

English - 'I don't do it this way. What's going on?'

Polite Speak - 'This is a good question for HR - you have my support'

English - 'I am uncomfortable being a leader during your difficult time, and coaching you through the process. I am just a manager. Can you talk to our HR team, please?

We specifically hired a nice person for this important task'.

by Suman Jampala