Weekly Update - August 23, 2024

Novel

Website

My article on sonnets is out, here. It's a paid article - gives the student insight into my poesy.

Miscellaneous

I have done shinkataza a lot - it's part of zen meditation. I followed the guidelines from a book (Sanbo school)*, and then eventually supplemented that awareness with research on zen (historical research), reading scripture (only a drop of the Buddha's original teachings- I mostly focused on the zen philosophy), and existing religions.

Mostly, it was just me thinking about a lot of answers to big questions, analyzing my own answers, and working backwards. I always liked doing this, but in college I focused on spirituality a lot.

Eventually, I stuck to zen meditation.

Last year, I became enlightened. I don't have a date - just 2023. I can't pin point to an exact time, I became enlightened - especially since I didn't have a teacher.

Now.....the problem is....in zen buddhism, based on my research and understanding, only a sensei can confirm enlightenment. This makes sense to me - only if you pass the bar, can you be a lawyer.

But I never actually had a sensei.

If we can count buddha (that I bowed to, sometimes, before doing shinktaza) or the writer of that first book, then I suppose you can say I had a teacher....But they were not my teachers.

One was an idol I bowed to because I didn't want to, and the other was someone I respected through his words.

So that puts me in an odd position.

On one hand I am enlightened, but the idea of having someone you respect, and your trusted superior, confirm it, feels like common sense.

I think the Buddhist resolution is to go beyond the duality of wanting verification and not wanting it, so as to not get attached so heavily to needing to know whether you are enlightened or not.

Makes sense - I agree.

But when asked what religion I identify with, or respect, saying:

'Initially, I was a lay buddhist, studied scripture for a long time, and I didn't really agree with Buddha for a very long time....I became enlightened, but....I can't really say that because I don't consider it confirmed (though I think I did it, personally, if you're curious.....) and I don't agree with Buddha on some very major points....."

Must be very annoying for someone who just asked a simple question because they are being polite.

In fact, my answer will be so annoying, that you will lose your attachment for the need to know someone's religion, and will bring you closer to non-duality, while my own questions remain.

For now, I will just continue eating and smiling when someone asks me my religion at a party.

Based on my interpretation of a chapter in the shobogenzo, I think the point of being buddha is to be, and in this context, by answering a good question, I am advancing their understanding of me, my opinion, but engaging in duality anyway.

So if I answer, I am resolving a question - if I don't answer, the question remains.

But if there is no question, this karmic cycle of answering or not answering never happens - I am already enlightened.

Now that someone asks me a question, and I get dragged into karma again, I need to work hard to become enlightened again.

Or, I can continue smiling (like an idiot) and eat samosas.

Or I can answer, continue a conversation, learn a different way to see myself, and then hopefully I won't confuse the poor soul at a party.

For the record, someone asked me a variant of the religion question recently, and I answered.

Poor soul.

I always liked koans, so here is mine.

That which perceives a rainbow as black or white, can only be removed by being the rainbow.

My enlightenment is complete; I went from white, to black and white, to black, to white, to black and white, to black, white, rainbow, to everything.

I was never a big fan of editing for coolness - so here are some more details, with context.

I messaged the above in 2 separate texts to my family on July 27th, at 1.31 PM IST, and again at 1.33 PM IST:

That which perceives a rainbow as black or white, can only be removed by being the rainbow. - Suman P. Jampala

fyi

My enlightenment is complete; I went from white, to black and white, to black, to white, to black and white, to black, white, rainbow, to everything

I found my answer, Amma

*- I read this book - The Authentic Gate. I think I liked the book and the writer's approach. Goodreads link.

*- The chapter I referenced in this post, was this - Shoaku-Makusa.

But look at this koan I found in Shin-Fukatoku.

I am only including the Wikipedia section - the original can be found in Shobogenzo, Book 1, translated by Gudo Nishijima & Chodo Cross.

I am not skilled enough to comment on this, I just remembered my samosa argument in my draft.